I have a hard time claiming the success of being a single mom when in fact I really had a sister wife (in the best sense of the word) for about 5 years living in San Diego. Oprah really lost out on a great show when she didn’t respond to any of my letters about my story pitch for how to make the most of being a single parent.
I met my best friend in middle school. The fact that other girls in my grade warned me that if I talked to the new girl no one would ever be my friend just made her all the more attractive to me.
Who knew that ten years later we would end up pregnant at the same time even though she lived in Georgia and I was in Montana. Even more coincidental we had our baby girls within two days of each other.
It was easy to keep in touch with her for those early years by phone as our babies grew. But it was serendipity that brought us both to the conclusion that we should just live and raise our girls together given we were both in the midst of breakups. So for 5 years in San Diego, California our daughters had two mommies. It was extra confusing when I was with the girls on my own and people would ask how old my twins were. I would say they were born two days apart. Then when they looked confused I would explain they had two different dads. No doubt I loved the shock effect that left them speechless when I walked away.
Our little family community in Del Mar may have been completely perplexed by our non-traditional life style, but the kids had no problem explaining their living situation through drawings to their teachers. In fact,the other kids were jealous that they got to live with their best friend. And I’m guessing the other mothers were completely jealous that we were better parenting partners than what they had with their husbands.
Tag team parenting was our solution for those young years during which the girls had sisters and we didn’t have to rush into finding another mate to share in parenting when we weren’t ready and we could be bad ass girls in our young 30’s. It was kind of a girls can do everything household, even buy motorcycles.
We may not have made it to Oprah, but thanks to social media I get to share a bit of how I not only survived but thrived even as a single mom. And I get to wish my BFF a very happy birthday today! Happy birthday Rachel!
For a little sense of how silly, Rachel & I were before living together go to the link below. My daughter, Ali, found the audio and interviewed me on KNKX a few years ago.